Shaking the Sugar Tree: Just Trust Me

In a very sincere voice with not a hint of arrogance or cockiness, He said, "Just trust Me."  Those are the words we often hear in movies just before something bad happens. And yet we are asked to trust our Master on a daily basis with our dreams, fantasies, well being, etc.   In a society where most tend to take control of their own lives, trusting one’s Master has become a cliché rather than a life-changing attitude towards our submission. We say it, but do we really mean it? And what does trusting your Master look like?

Trust is foundational in all relationships but mostly in a BDSM relationship because it creates a safe environment for intimacy and exploration to grow. If your relationship is going to work you need to be able to trust your Master with your past, your present and your future. Trust takes time and effort, and is easily broken and hard to restore but if you’re willing to work at it, the reward is the relationship you’ve always dreamed of.

I have found that one of the biggest areas that need constant attention to build this trust is communication… honest communication.  You can’t communicate honestly if you’re always second-guessing how your Master will react and rephrasing your thoughts to fit in with His agenda.   It takes work and if you’ve been hurt in the past, it can be especially difficult to open up.  Don’t hide behind your emotions dealing with your past relationships.  Being open means talking about things you may have never talked about with another human being before in your life. It means being vulnerable and honest with your Master, completely and unabashedly. It means opening yourself up to possible hurt and disappointment. Or my worst fear, seeing disappointment on His face.  But it also means opening yourself up to the full potential of all a BDSM relationship can be.

For Master and me, my obedience is expected. It is something that is non-negotiable within our relationship.  We have had our challenges in learning trust over the years.  However, through a lot of heart to heart communication and tears, we have found the level of me trusting Him with everything concerning my life.  His consistent decision making is one of the ways that we build trust with each other.  I am sure that He will let me down from time to time, as I will Him. But the continued open communication will eliminate those times to a bare minimal.  “Just trust Me” is not a cliché’, but the goal we all must strive for.